3 weeks left on the field. How is that even possible?

It honestly feels like just yesterday I was packing my bags, getting ready to head to Albania, about to meet all of these people for the very first time. I remember not really knowing what to expect or fully understanding what I had just said yes to. If you would have told me then that this decision would completely change my life, I don’t think I would have believed you.

I know I’ve probably said this before, but I truly am not the same person I was at the beginning of this trip. The Lord has done so much in me. I’ve seen Him move in powerful ways in the lives of people around me, but more than anything, I’ve seen Him transform my own heart. I came into this experience thinking I was going to watch God change other people, and He absolutely has, but what I didn’t expect was how personally He would meet me in it all.

He has healed parts of my heart that I didn’t even realize were still hurting. He has brought freedom in areas I didn’t even know I was holding onto. There have been so many moments where He has gently revealed something in me and then walked with me through healing instead of leaving me there. I feel like I’ve learned what it actually means to surrender, not just in what I say, but in how I live. Because of that, I can honestly say I am leaving this season as a different person.

The people I have met and the places I have been are things I will carry with me for the rest of my life. This season has marked me in a way that I don’t think will ever fully fade. Lately, I’ve been asking the Lord to continue softening my heart because I don’t want to leave here and slowly fall back into old patterns or ways of living. I want to stay in a place where I am aware of His presence and sensitive to His voice in my everyday life.

I’ve also been learning what it really means to be in love with the Lord, not just to say that I love Him. There is a difference, and it’s something I’ve been understanding more deeply here. Loving God is one thing, but being in love with Him changes the way you live. It means caring about what He cares about, wanting to hear His voice, and choosing Him in both the big and small moments. It also means learning to love His people well, which has stretched me in ways I didn’t expect. Loving people is not always easy, but I’ve been realizing how much it reflects Him when we choose to do it anyway.

As I think about going home in 22 days, I feel a mix of emotions that are hard to fully explain. I am excited to see my family and friends and to step into what is next, but there is also a part of me that does not want this season to end. The 27 people I have been living with for the past 8 months have become my family. They are my everyday life, the people I have grown with, laughed with, cried with, and done life with in such a real way.

When I went home over Christmas, it was honestly really hard. I missed everyone here so much, and something just felt off, like a part of me was missing. I think going home again is going to feel similar. It will be strange stepping back into a life that now feels so different from the one I’ve been living. It will also be hard knowing that I won’t see many of these people for a long time, and some of them, maybe never again. There is a heaviness in that, but also so much gratitude for the time we’ve had together.

Ok so enough about how I do not want this season to end! Lets get into some updates!

We have been having life skills class 3 days a week and during this time, we’ve been focusing on what it looks like to walk with Him in the middle of hard things. Not just when life feels easy, but when it’s uncomfortable or painful. We have been asked questions like whether we are reacting out of love, whether we are inviting God into what I’m feeling, or if were trying to handle everything on our own.

If I’m being honest, I’ve realized that I often try to do things on my own first. I try to process it, fix it, or push through it without bringing it to the Lord. But slowly, He has been teaching me to pause and to invite Him in first instead of last. It’s not something I’ve mastered, but I can see the growth happening.

We’ve also been doing a lot of evangelism this week, and it has been such a cool experience. The boys were away on a retreat, so it’s just been us girls, and being in Antigua during Holy Week has been unlike anything I’ve ever seen. The city is full of people, there are celebrations everywhere, and there is so much happening all at once.

Since our normal ministry wasn’t happening, a few of us went into town with Bibles that had been donated to us. One of the girls was given over 100 small New Testament Bibles, which was such a blessing. Before we went out, we spent time praying over each Bible and over every person who would receive one. Yesterday, we handed out around 20 Bibles and got to pray with so many people.

This is another area where I’ve seen so much growth in myself. I used to hate praying out loud because I was so worried about what people thought of me or if I was saying the right thing. But now I actually love it. I’ve realized how powerful prayer really is, and getting to pray over people has become something I genuinely enjoy. It’s no longer about how I sound, but about what God is doing in that moment.

On a lighter note, I also started learning how to play guitar last week. At first it felt really difficult, but I picked it up pretty quickly, and now I can play almost any song! I’ve actually fallen in love with it, and I’m excited to keep learning. I’ll probably end up buying a guitar when I get home because I don’t want to lose that.

A very real and not so fun update is that almost all of us have lice. We found it in a couple girls a few days ago, and after checking everyone, almost all of us had eggs. We’ve done the treatments and spent a lot of time combing everything out, and we are really hoping it clears up quickly. Please be praying for our group that it goes away fast and doesn’t keep spreading.

Also, huge praise Update! I AM FULLY FUNDED! I am so incredibly thankful. Thank you to everyone who has supported me, whether through prayer, encouragement, or giving. It truly means so much to me.

As I finish out this season, I’m also stepping out in faith again. I will be continuing with Journey School next year because I really believe the Lord is calling me to keep doing missions. For this next year, I need to raise $17,900, and I am trusting Him in that process. If you feel led, I would love for you to pray about partnering with me. It would mean so much to have people walking alongside me in what God is doing.

That’s it for now. I’ll see you all soon for my final update from the field, which still feels so crazy to say!