How is launch day in just 11 days?

This time at home has flown by faster than I could have ever expected. I came back thinking I would finally slow down, rest, and really be intentional with the Lord, but instead my days have been nonstop. Work, responsibilities, conversations, planning. It feels like I blinked and suddenly my calendar was full again.

I’ve been busy, and that’s true, but I also know that’s not the full excuse. After working an eight hour day, I’ll come home, drop my things, and see my Bible sitting right there on my desk. I know I could walk over, open it, and find real rest in the Word. I know I could give my soul what it’s actually craving. But instead, I’ve been choosing my phone, telling myself I’m “too tired” to read my Bible, while somehow still having the energy to doom scroll.

Even in the mornings, instead of starting my day in the Word, I’ve been reaching for my phone first. Without really realizing it, I stepped back into old routines I had before first semester. And with that came a familiar feeling of distance from God. Not because He moved, but because I did. I’ve noticed myself saying I don’t feel as close to Him, while at the same time making choices that push me further away.

Last night, for the first time in a while, I finally opened my Bible again. I didn’t go in with a big plan, I just opened it. And I came across Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” This is a verse I am very familiar with, but it was exactly the reminder I needed in this season. It reminded me that rest isn’t found in distractions or numbing myself with my phone. Real rest is found in Him. I realized I’ve been carrying stress and exhaustion on my own when I was never meant to.

This season has been hard. Being home for such a short amount of time feels strange. On one hand, I know I’m leaving again soon, and that is so exciting. I cannot wait to be back in the field and to see people I miss so dearly. On the other hand, it’s going to be really hard to leave my family and friends again. Both of those feelings exist at the same time, and I’m learning that it’s okay to hold both joy and sadness together.

What I do know is that I can only do this next season if I continue to surrender it to God. Especially when it comes to finances. The financial side of this season has been weighing heavily on me. So many questions from the people around me keep coming up, and while I know they care, it has been stressful. Questions like, “How are you going to raise the remaining $4,000?” or “Are you sure it’s all going to come together?” keep circling my mind. The truth is, I don’t know how it’s all going to happen. But God does. So why would I worry when He already knows the answer?

I know God has called me to this trip. I know He wants me there. And because of that, I am choosing to trust that He will provide, even when I have no idea how He will. That’s easy to say and much harder to live out, but it’s something I am learning in real time. If God can perform all the miracles I have seen and read about, then every detail of my life, even the ones that feel overwhelming, are so small for Him.

As launch day gets closer, I am filled with so much excitement to step back into the field. I am learning that preparation isn’t just packing bags and raising money, it’s preparing my heart. Slowing down. Returning to the Word. Choosing surrender over stress. And trusting that the same God who called me is the same God who will carry me every step of the way.

Please be praying for me and my squad as we prepare for this next season. I am so expectant for what God is going to do. I’ll see you guys in Mexico!